The Locksmith (Part 2)

Thursday, Sep, 1, 2011

10:30 a.m.

The Locksmith (Part 2)

*

(Carl enters the U-Haul storage unit followed by Julie, Marcus, Alex and Jamie. Carl has a drill, a saw and a pair of bolt cutters in his hands.)

(Carl looks left then looks right. He nods at Jamie.)

(Jamie takes a long orange extension cord and runs off to go plug it in.)

(Julie looks around nervously. Marcus twiddles his thumbs and whistles.)

Carl- Marucs. Buddy boy. Can you not do that at the moment.

Marcus- Sorry, daddy.

Julie- Carl…

Carl- Jules, not now. Okay? Please.

Jamie- (returns) We’re short.

Carl- Ahhh, you’ve got to be kidding me!

(Carl goes off with Jamie.)

(Alex stands next to Julie. He smiles awkwardly at her. She does the same.)

Alex- Kinda crazy.

Julie- Oh, it’s just got me a bit worried is all—

Alex- Yeah, I know. It’s like—I don’t even know… It’s crazy.

Julie- Well, I mean, Carl can do it, he’s got the tools and he knows how and it shouldn’t be that big of a deal to these people, I mean, what’s the difference whether or not we break into the lock or they do, I mean, really, it shouldn’t matter, should it.

Alex- No, I—

Julie- And I suppose there are rules and everything but you know, sometimes you just have to go around those rules to… oh well, I’m not setting a good example for Marcus, am I?

Marcus- Are we gonna get home in time for Ben-Ten, mommy?

Julie- Yes, honey, we will. What time is Ben-Ten on?

Marcus- It comes on right after Johnny Test!

Julie- Shhh! Not so loud honey.

(Carl and Jamie return)

Carl- The cord’s too short. They’ve got the outlets at the very top of the walls! These people have thought of everything! (mutters) Ridiculous… Okay! Alright, well, I suppose we’ll just have to get the wire cutters and— Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me…

(Jalicera approaches them.)

Jalicera- Excuse me, can I ask what you are all doing with this equipment?

Carl- No, no, no, we’re getting our licensed locksmith to come in just like you said.

Jalicera- Where is he?

Carl- He’s… He’s downstairs checking in with your man right now. Getting his credentials all accounted for.

Julie- Carl…

Carl- We’re just setting up shop for him here.

Jalicera- I just came from downstairs and there was nobody at registration or customer services.

(Silence)

Carl- Look, miss, it doesn’t matter whether or not—

Jalicera- Sir, I have to remind you that this—what’s going on here—

Carl- —whether or not we have a ‘licensed locksmith’—

Jalicera- —is a crime against our company policy.

Carl- Oh! You want to talk about crimes, huh? How about this nonsense of paying sixty to eighty dollars for a company locksmith to come in a break into our own lock!

Jalicera- You lost the key sir, it is not our fault that—

Carl- I didn’t lose the key! My wife did, thank you very much!

Julie- (small wave) Hi there. Sorry about all this…

Carl- Julie, for Christ’s sakes…

Jalicera- Folks, I understand your frustration but these are the rules set out by the company and I have to adhere to them otherwise I could lose my job. I have three kids at home and I need this job. So… if you want I can call the company locksmith up here—

Carl- No, no, that will be quite alright, thank you. We will be calling in our own man this afternoon.

Jalicera- This is no problem, just as long as he—

Carl- Shows his certification and everything. Got it. Right. Thank you.

(Pause)

Jalicera- Well, if you folks need anymore help, come find me.

Julie- Thank you… (looks at her nametag) Jali-Cera.

(Jalicera walks off.)

Carl- (head shaking) It’s a scam. (to Julie) It’s a scam, you know that? (to the boys) The whole thing, it’s a scam.

Julie- Will John still have his license? He’s been retired for almost thirty years now…

Carl- I don’t know… I’ll call him and we’ll see…

Jamie- Should I go wrap up the cord?

Carl- It’s a scam.

Marcus- Are we going home now?

Julie- Not yet, sweetie, not yet.

Carl- Total scam.

Alex- (to Jamie) I’ll help you.

(Alex and Jamie go off to wrap up the extension cord.)

Julie- Carl…

Carl- Can’t believe this. Of all the ridiculous… that woman… the nerve!

Julie- Marcus, lets go to the car and get your donuts, okay?

Marcus- Is daddy coming?

Julie- Daddy’s going to make a call. (Pause)  Carl… call John and make sure he has his license, okay? We don’t want any more trouble with these people.

(Julie and Marcus leave.)

(Carl stands by the locked storage unit with his power tools on the ground.)

Carl- That... woman.

*