The Locksmith (Part 3)

Thursday, Sep 1, 2011

1:30 p.m.

The Locksmith (Part 3)

*

(Same storage unit area as before. John, a man in his early sixties and a long ZZ Top beard, sets down his toolbox. Carl, Julie, Marcus, Jamie and Alex follow behind.)

John- This it?

Carl- Yeah, this is the one, John.

John- (examines the lock) Circular. Newer model.

Carl- Can you cut it?

John- Might be able to pick it.

Julie- We really appreciate you coming out here and doing this for us John.

John- ‘S no problem. Anything for neighbors.

(John bends down and a long line of butt-crack creeps out of his blue jeans. Everyone takes notice of this, especially Marcus, who runs away, his arms flailing.)

Marcus- AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

Julie- Marcus, honey, stay in this area!

John- Yeah, it’s a newer model, alright. God, these are good solid sturdy units. How long ago did you have them install this?

Carl- Uh… two years or so, John.

John- Amazing. Really. The ways we’ve gone about advancing the methods we secure things like doors and windows will always amaze me. Till my dying day.

(John fumbles his tools. He takes out a small rotating saw.)

John- Yessir… amazing. Simply a-mazing. (Pause) Okay, now you all might want to step back, cuz there are gunna be sparks. (He puts on a pair of glasses to protect his eyes. He starts the saw. There is a loud buzzing sound that emits.)

John- (over the whir of the saw) So you say the lady that worked here wouldn’t let ya hack at it yourself, that right?

Carl- Yeah! That’s right, John!

John- Well, I can’t say I necessarily blame her! This may prove to be a more difficult job than one would immediately assume!

(He presses the whirring blade to the lock. Spark emit.)

(Marcus returns from his chaotic fit of running.)

Marcus- (sings) Three cheers for the red, white and blue! DA DA DA DA DA DEEEEEEEE!!!!

John- (turns the blade off) Now I can get access… (He takes a picklock from his pocket, licks his fingers and runs them over the tip of the instrument.)  Although, I must say, I haven’t had to show anyone my certificate in a loooooong time.

Carl- (mumbles, almost to himself) Well… we appreciate it John…

John- Oh, well, it’s no thing, really. (He inserts the picklock into the silver lock and in a matter of seconds, the latch loosens and the lock comes off and hits the ground.) Nope. Nothing at all.

(Alex, Jamie, Julie and Marcus applaud.)

(John picks up the lock.) Yessiree, gosh, that’s something. Amazing…

Alex- How did you become a locksmith?

John- Had a lot of time on my hands after I got out of school. I always liked doing jigsaw puzzles and timin’ myself-- seein’ how long it would take me to figure out how to put it together. Once it came time to start looking for work, I just sort of ended up puttin’ one and one together. It’s been fun.

Jamie- It’s weird. Depending on the situation, you can be a person’s best friend or their worst enemy. You can access almost anything.

John- Carl, you mind if I keep this?

Carl- (Silence) Sure, John.

Julie- Oh, Carl, wasn’t it like watching brain surgery or something? It was incredible John, it really was quite incredible.

Marcus- INCREDIBLE!!!!

John- Happy to help.

(Jalicera enters.)

Jalicera- Excuse me, did you get him checked in—?

Carl- Yes, Yes. We got him all checked in. The guy downstairs didn’t even ask to see his license. He said we could just go on up. No questions asked.

(Silence. Carl and Jalicera stare at each other.)

Jalicera- I’m just doing what the company policy says, sir.

Carl- And the world will go to sleep safely knowing that.

Julie- Carl…

John- (to Jalicera) This is quite a thing, ma’am. First time I’ve ever seen a model like this before. My compliments to the chef.

Jalicera- Thank you, sir.

Julie- And thank you John, really, this is too much, thank you.

John- No problem Julie. Any time. Say, you guys gonna come over for brats on Sunday?

Carl- (moving towards the door) We’ll see ya Carl.

John- Okay. Well, adios.

(John exits, tossing the lock into the air.)

Jalicera- If you folks need anything else…

(Jalicera exits.)

(Silence)

Carl- Okay... well... moving on.

*